Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
