never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
