ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
