I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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