The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
