and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Text me some of your sweat
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