He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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