I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
