Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize