i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
