ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
