I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
My liver is preforming stress tests.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I think I just shit out all my problems.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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