I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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