I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Dicks are not precious.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
