She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
