she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
