My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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