Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
