Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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