just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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