How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
