She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
