he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
