There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
