I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize