Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Well I just put wine in my tea
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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