is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
They took my balls.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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