Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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