well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
