no. you can't hotbox the world.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
