Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
