im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
