OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
