There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
