My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
