guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
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I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
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But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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