Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on