No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.