Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
