the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
