Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
