Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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