i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
