She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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