But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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