I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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