We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
