JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Randomize
