We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
