There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
