SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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