I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize