Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
