i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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