He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize