How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize