Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
