Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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