my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
