when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Randomize
