Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
