i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
